I am loving Dr. Kate Dow’s coaching program: Cultivating Calm and Confidence Within.
In the first session we talked about the Queen archetype, and what that means to us. This past Tuesday we talked about the “Princess”. The Princess is the child or young woman in us who has not yet grown into her sovereignty. She is more dependent…and she wants to please. She wants the people around her to be happy with her. And she wants to be taken care of, as she does not yet realize her own resourcefulness.
The Princess is still looking to the outside world to tell her she is enough. She is striving to learn and to measure up.
I feel as if I lived deeply in the Princess phase for a long time in my life. I was looking to following the rules in order to succeed. I was looking to “acceptable behavior” to protect me and keep me safe. (So of course I had to guess what other people thought was “acceptable”.) I trusted the outside world more than I trusted my own inner guidance.
What I found over and over again is that believing in my weakness sets me up for victimhood. It sets me up to blame someone else for the way my life is going.
And the answer to the quandary is not to blame or ostracize the Princess.
During the coaching session we were guided to finding this part of ourselves in our bodies. For me, she was in my heart center. She was seeking out her mother and wanting to be loved.
Breathing into that and allowing myself to feel it, my response became compassion. Compassion for how hard she has worked to prove herself and to be “good”. Compassion for how long she has been terrified…and resentful…and full of rage.
How could I not want to hold this child in my heart and comfort her?
How could I not appreciate her resilience? Her utter exhaustion? She has been a necessary part of my growth process. And, by the way, she has not been “conquered” or “transcended.” She is being integrated as I accept her as a natural part of my journey.
So I breathe. I find her in my body. I am learning to listen to her. She is not gone. In uncertain times she comes to me, to the mother aspect of me, the Queen, for reassurance. I am learning to give her reassurance, and to give her the love that no one else actually can.