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Permission to Rest

I have a confession to make: I have been feeling as if I am on a roller coaster ride with confusion, lately.

Here I am, back in the United States, back around family…and I am not sure at all what is happening next…except that it looks like I will be in Colorado for the next couple of months. It can be a bit unsettling. I try to remember that I have been in this “spot” in my life before; starting from scratch…creating something completely different. Sometimes it feels as if I have lived many different lives and been many different people. There is also a core that is none of those people at all.

There is something more real that is silent…quiet…underneath all the show. All it does is breathe…and notice.

I have been hearing the phrase “come home to your heart” in varying ways and from varying directions lately. When I try to “figure things out”, (which is a lot of what’s been rolling around in my head lately), it pretty generally doesn’t work. Something gets blocked and bogged down. So today I have given myself complete permission to rest…to really rest; to let go of “what’s next?”, at least for the next 24 hours. I am opening up a space to come home to my heart.

 

 

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Fast Forward

Wow…so much has happened since I last posted here! Let me just begin by saying I’m currently back in the United States, visiting with my sister for awhile and looking toward “what’s next”.

I wouldn’t be telling you the whole truth if I didn’t tell you that I’ve actually been freaking out a bit about that. Where am I going? What am I doing? Yeah,”What’s next?”

Julia Cameron says in her book The Artist’s Way:

“As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected.”

I like that: gentle…but powerful.

The modern age is amazing…although, sometimes too fast, too harried, too complicated. Our lives get away from us. Right now, though, modern “Alexa” is playing sweet meditation music for me in my sister’s home, and I am feeling into gentleness. I am right where I am for the moment.

The next thing will show itself. I believe my heart, my wishes, are powerful creators. Sometimes it’s just hard to see. Sometimes it takes patience. Sometimes it seems as if nothing is happening. Sometimes it feels as if I don’t know what to do, and I’m scared.

But, what do I want? What do I really want?

Have you ever noticed that what you direct your attention to is what appears in your reality? After all, I wanted to go to Ireland; and after a time of dreaming, I did.

So…my sister came to visit me in Galway! She and I had a whirlwind time of visiting the Cliffs of Moher and the Burren and playing in the city, and then flying off to London where I spent some time sight-seeing while she had business to tend. We ate traditional English (meat)  pies and saw Harrods of London (it’s immense!) and went to Stonehenge (I was so enthralled we very nearly missed our tour bus back into the city). I was awed by the architecture of London…all over. Everywhere.

 

So, fast forward to today. I am back, Dear Readers…back in the U.S. and back at my blog.