Acceptance. Affection. Closeness. Belonging. Dignity.
I am noticing the need, the desire in myself, for these things…these intangible qualities of life and well-being. I confess it.
I am also noticing something else more clearly than I may have seen it, before: I am noticing that although “they” (those mysterious knowing authorities) have long said that the best way to receive something is to give it, I may have been missing the full impact of what was being said.
Maybe it’s more than a pretty idea. Maybe it’s actually much closer to a universal law.
Treating my world with disrespect, for me, disrupts the very dignity I am seeking to cultivate.
Sarcasm and snarky comments, self-righteous indignation, mocking, being certain of my stand…such reactions to my world neither soften me toward it nor do they seem to soften the world toward me. They don’t engender compassion anywhere. They might engender agreement from some quarters…but not compassion. They don’t engender listening or honesty…or healing.
Seeing my world as a place to fix makes it forever a place to fix, right? After all, it will never be “just so”…will it? Expectation is a weird slippery slide.
Giving the world acceptance, affection and a deep respect will garner acceptance, affection and respect for myself, even if only in the form of self-respect. But haven’t you met people in whom that kind of dignity shines like a beacon? Haven’t you met people who felt like lighthouses of love…and change?
The funny thing is, I am learning this is not capitulation…it’s not being a doormat. It’s opening.
So, I have a discussion with someone and I am hurt or feel ashamed or angry or resistant. What if, in that moment, I give myself what I am needing…instead of continuing the fight? What if I let the resistance break? What if I surrender? What if I notice exactly what I am needing and give it to me? What if I respect myself and then, lo and behold, I find I am able to respect what I am hearing? What if I have compassion on myself and somehow I find I am then an open space to give compassion? What if I stand firmly in a place of unflinching peace?
What if I put down all my weapons…and look around to find the war over? Possible?
Well written Aly. You are moving closer to your truth. When that “ah” moment slides quietly and gently into place then all will make sense and your philosophy will be whole.