On the day I am writing this, I am sitting in a Barnes and Noble. I am absorbing the atmosphere of words and the scent of books. I am having an iced coffee on this hot summer day…typing onto the blank page to see what might come out. I want to let myself to follow something into the unknown.
At this moment, I am an open channel…waiting…curious.
I let myself relax and follow the current. See what rises. See what moves through my heart…and through my noticing.
I hear the soft sounds of muffled conversation over coffee. There are sounds of orders being placed and names being called. I find myself reminding myself to be careful not to overhear. (Be respectful; don’t be invasive. Attention is my purpose here…not rudeness.) There is a couple speaking softly. I see the wife has a stack of travel books. Another woman is talking to what appear to be her daughters as they choose something to read. Some other women are laughing together. The sounds blend together. They’re somehow comforting. Human interaction. Human connection.
Of course, there are also those bent over their “devices”, just as I sometimes am; being pulled out of the world around them into a different sort of world…the electronic world of pixels and text messages and scrolling. Though I do have my computer in front of me, this feels qualitatively different right now.
It is interesting to consciously be present in this world. It is interesting to breathe, and not to rush. It is interesting to let my mind rest and be okay here.
I look around. Science and Nature. Crafts and Hobbies. Biography. History. Women’s Interests. Science Fiction. Fantasy and Adventure. Historical Fiction. Mystery and Thrillers. Business. Romance. Health and Wellness. The list goes on and on. Homer’s Iliad, Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World and Harry Potter are prominent in the signage. All around me there are so many with something to say…something they wanted to share with the world. So many voices calling out…beckoning. I find I am grateful for this world of language.
I also notice it feels like I have been interfacing with an interesting phenomenon as I type: if I think I have to or need to or should do a thing…the wind tends to go out of my sails. It suddenly becomes less fun and I become less interested. Resistance rears its procrastinating, stubborn head. The child comes out in protest: “I don’t want to!” I’m finding there’s a slippery balance between discipline and spontaneity. I want to be dedicated. I also want what I’m doing to be fresh…otherwise it’s pretty useless.
Right now, I am looking for the place where this balance is found.