Author: gypsywoman

As I breathe into this fresh morning…this new day; and into my intentions to let go of preconditioned ideas about how life is “supposed to be”–and how it’s “supposed to look”–as I let go of the need to explain, or convince, or answer to anyone about the choices I have made–I also open my heart to taking things less seriously. I open my heart to joy. To have fun. To play.

I also open my heart to teaching myself more about rest. Better rest. Deeper rest. More effective rest. So that my times of productivity and creativity are also more focused and more fruitful.

May my heart listen to the whispers…the nudges…may it be attentive and open.

Surely I am not outside the creative pulse of the world. Of life. Surely I belong, too. For here I am. This story. This existence. This beating heart…

This heart that beats “I want…I want…I want.”

This heart that has tended to get lost in searching and seeking and not having. In stories of “not enoughness” and envy. Others are so much more connected to their purpose…to a magical synchronicity…others are so much more connected to God. 

As if that connection were not my birthright. 

As if it were not already the truth of my being.

As if I had not merely turned my face away and immersed myself in believing a distraction.

As if I were not held in an ineffable Presence the whole time.

“Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind carries me across the sky” ~ Ojibwe Saying

I am hearing so many great questions to look at…to test…to feel into..in my life right now. Questions from Tony Robbins’ Awakening the Giant Within and Majo Molfino’s Break the Good Girl Myth. Questions from all kinds of different directions. This is a time to investigate my life.

What do I want? What do I honestly want? What’s great in my life right now? What brings me joy? What do I have to say? What’s my message to the world? What problem or problems would I like to solve in the world (for myself and others)?

There is that which is in a hurry…that thinks of itself as already “old”…thinks of itself as not having time, anymore, for all this introspection…investigation…exploration. And sometimes my heart is heavy.

“That time is past,” a mean voice says. “It’s too late! Where were you earlier? You’ve missed the boat and you are never going to catch up. Don’t even bother.”

Another voice reminds me that I am still alive…and that I can be as alive as I choose to be. Right now. Today. It reminds me to revel in that…to nurture it…to join the celebration. This voice reminds me to be grateful…to live with my heart wide open, come what may. I am reminded that it is moment…to moment…to moment that counts. There is a richness there, in the journey itself.

I hear messages, then, in my world, that say, “It’s okay to take things less seriously.” Accomplishment isn’t everything. Breathe. Laugh. Relax. Please relax…because ramping up the stress has never gotten you anywhere.” 

I am invited again into Presence…and wonder…and permission to create. I am invited into mystery and sweet bewilderment.

And I remember that Rumi says, “You’ll be forgiven for forgetting that what you really want, is love’s confusing joy.”

The Oxford Dictionary defines cognitive dissonance as “the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioural decisions and attitude change.” Psychologically it’s a “thing”, and it’s uncomfortable, and humans do all sorts of things to move themselves out of that uncomfortable space. Cognitive dissonance happens when our most deeply held and valued beliefs are challenged.

I’ve noticed it in myself, lately.

I am confronted with “cognitive dissonance” when I hear someone say that, essentially, “socialists will wait until the whole economic pie has been baked,” (That is to say by others…by capitalists), “and then they’ll demand a piece of it…or even demand the entire thing.”  I found I had to stop the video I was listening to. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

Now, I don’t necessarily see this as the complete truth at all.

However, the way this person is carefully and rationally explaining his opinion, all of a sudden a light is shined. I get it. I understand where he’s coming from. I had been seeing the socialist point of view as completely benevolent–after all, don’t they want everyone to benefit? From listening to this person, a question begins to arise in my mind. So what am I to do with that? 

That’s cognitive dissonance.

I am confronted with cognitive dissonance when someone says that beating Covid is not about “hiding from microbes”; that, in fact, hiding from microbes is a losing game. It’s impossible! It is about boosting our own immune systems, I’m told. And at the deepest level, it’s about letting our bodies do what they do naturally, all the time.

Guess what? I see how that makes some sense.

Does this mean I’m going to start refusing to wear a mask or pooh-poohing the CDC? Absolutely not.

 It does mean that I can allow myself to have a gentler attitude and more understanding toward someone who doesn’t want to wear the mask and not assume they’re all just “crazy” or don’t care.

I mention these things because they weren’t the easiest things for me to look at. Easy is labeling myself and letting the label decide what I think. Easy is going with what I think will get me accepted by my social group as one of them.

We guard our beliefs and the way we see the world so tightly, as if they are our very selves. They’re not. The way I see it, the way out is to open our hearts. The way out is to listen to one another. The way out is to see clearly that it’s all a single coin, although it may have “sides” that appear to be directly opposite. 

What if we didn’t have to make a choice? What if we could sit with the paradoxes and quandaries and let them speak to us in a deeper way. We could greet the idea of paradox as a friend, a teacher. We could begin to see life from a perspective that takes in the entire panorama. What if our doing could be a function of our intuition and a way of being that we’re choosing in the moment, rather than a personal dogma that relentlessly drives us?

We get so stuck on who’s doing or saying something we disagree with. We get stuck in the battle, focused on all the things we don’t want. What if we focus on what we do want? What if we focus on the ways we can love life and lift one another up?

What, exactly, did Gandhi mean when he said, “Be the change you want to see in the world?”

I heard this message for myself one morning…and now I want to share it with you:

When the world seems to suggest that you stay small, do not believe it.

Do not listen. 

When it seems to suggest that it is better to stay safe, not to venture out into your dreams or to the very edges of what you thought was possible, when it seems to suggest that you can’t, know that your dreams are precious. Your dreams are worth the effort. Your freedom lies in the wide open spaces of that heart. 

Your freedom lies in the singing of your song. Sing it loud. Let those around you know that it is safe to come out of hiding. Show them that it is safe for them to sing their songs, too. Show them how beautiful they are.

When the world seems to suggest that you toe the line, that you do not know your own way; when it seems to suggest that it is better not to be curious…oh, be very skeptical!

Be very curious indeed. There is power in your curiosity. 

You are alive right now to give your gift…your very own unique gift. There is no one else who can do that for the “us”…for the whole…for the One. 

Feel the truth in your body of how you belong, All your skittering thoughts to the contrary are lies you don’t need to believe.

You are here, walking the earth now. You are breathing and being held in a mysterious miracle of love. That is proof of your belonging.

Therefore be bold. Therefore let yourself be truly alive. Wonder. Ask questions. Do the work of knowing what you really want…and pay attention, for that is the call of God.

So this is how I ended up coaching myself this morning. I found it rather interesting…and counter-intuitive. I never know what’s going to show up when I set pen to paper:

What do you want? Breathe into that. Breathe into your dreams. Allow yourself to wander in your joy. Allow yourself to wander in magic. (Pssst…it really is all magic. All miraculous.)

The woman writing this, who is sixty one years old, who has sometimes felt herself so far behind she thought she would never catch up…who has sometimes felt her life was nearly over, is also the child who adores writing and language and dancing and living in her open heart. The child loves living in the moment, right here in this now. And the child knows her Source. She knows where she comes from. She is connected to the mystery and the inherent power of her dreaming and desire.

Every moment is an arriving…a connection to Presence. There is no need to “figure it out”. There is no need to battle your life into submission. Leave yourself a little open. Leave a little space for wonder. It’s all okay. You really don’t have to force anything. Stay connected to your curiosity…let that guide you. 

Do the things. Certainly. Do the things in front of you to do…but do them from that place of curiosity. Your freedom lies in that openness…that wonder. Please give yourself a break, as you go forth to do your work: remember that you are here not to “achieve” or to reach “goals”. You are here to love your life. Isn’t that a relief? Isn’t that a weight off your shoulders?

If there are goals, things you’re dreaming of and would like to create in your life…well and good. I’m not saying they are wrong or bad. Not at all. But they are here to serve you, not you them. Your dreams are here to serve your joy; not to turn your life into slavery and drudgery and feelings of worthlessness. Hold your dreams lightly…with an open hand. They’re butterflies in the open field of your being. Follow them! Don’t crush them with your seriousness.

So what I’d love to know is: What are you dreaming of? Please leave me a line or two in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

I have learned to be present with my feelings. I have learned that they will not harm me.

I have learned, bit by bit to be present with my fear; to let it tell me exactly what it’s afraid of. To be curious. To listen closely. To listen with my heart and with my whole body. I have noticed that it actually feels beautiful to listen. It’s a meditation.

When you are feeling fear; notice your breath. What’s it doing? How are you breathing? It’s a feeling. What is the feeling saying to you? Are you in danger as you feel it? I ask this, because so often we are not. If you were, you would likely be running or fighting already, right? You wouldn’t have time to notice.  If you are not…then notice. Just notice. Notice that you are actually safe at the moment. Notice that the feeling is survivable. And notice that the feeling is not the enemy. It has an agenda. It’s trying to protect something in you. The fear you are feeling is on your side, and once you hear what it wants, you can be less afraid. It yells louder when we try to ignore it.

It is the same with confusion, or anger, or sadness. They are calling your attention to someplace within you that needs gentleness or reassurance…someplace that needs your love. 

Anger is a sign that perhaps a boundary has been crossed. Welcome it. Invite it in and ask it questions. Is there some area of my life where I have not been honoring myself, or saying “yes” when I meant to say “no”…or “no” when I meant “yes”? Is there some area of my life where I have been betraying myself or not listening to my intuition? Have I had expectations of something or someone? Expectations that are outside my control? 

Your sadness, your grief, is an honoring of something that has meant a great deal to you. Your grief is a shape love takes. Let it in. Let it be a balm to your heart, for that is its intention. Its intention is to be with you, to sit with you right where you are. Let it hold you.

And if you are confused, allow yourself to be in the questions..to live in the questions for awhile. Allow yourself to be at the crossroads for a time…and let your heart keep silently asking what it wants to know, and watching patiently for answers. Give yourself permission not to rush.

This is the way with all the difficult emotions. To fight them, to argue with them, sends you further into the morass of your mind and further away from a healing connection with yourself. I have learned that my emotions are always showing me something. If I take the time to explore them, I find that they are useful, and somehow sweet. All of them.

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Einstein asked: Is the universe friendly?

So many of us grow up believing it to be hostile. There are experiences that are difficult, and that even seem downright cruel. It doesn’t make sense. Things hurt…physically, emotionally, mentally. Sometimes the pain is so great and so debilitating it feels unspeakable.

We hide.

We feel as if no one could possibly understand, and we find ourselves locked away in an isolated world. We become ashamed of our pain. I know I’ve felt this way…ashamed of the truth of what I was feeling. Not to be able to honestly express ourselves piles on the shame and adds anger, confusion and fear into the mix.

It is quite possible to be sure that we are unloved even when it isn’t true. 

We hear the judgments. We hear all kinds of things about how we’re supposed to be in the world…and what’s acceptable…and either subtly or quite overtly, we hear plenty about how we’re not measuring up. We may feel we somehow don’t even belong in the world; that we, ourselves are a horrible mistake – and we may try to hide this away so no one will see. We don’t love ourselves and our fear has us not reach out for help.

The interesting part about doing that is: as long as we’re closed off in our own little world like that, we think we’re the only one doing it. We don’t see that it’s a deeply ingrained part of the human condition. 

I would venture to say that almost everyone has experienced this feeling of being alone and “unacceptable” at some point, in some area of their lives. We’re afraid to step out of our prison because we’ve been hurt before; and, psychologically, it seems to make a lot of sense to protect ourselves. It makes sense to keep ourselves “safe”.  But what I am learning is that our closed off, balled up sense of safety is a big lie. Our real sense of safety is in our freedom.

I didn’t know this until I started being called to come out of my cage…to take a leap and discover for myself whether or not the universe is friendly. What I’m finding is that the more I lean into the truth of what’s happening right now and go with it, the more okay I am. I found the gentler I can be with myself, the gentler the universe appears. I found that the more I am willing to reach out and be just as real as I know how to be, the more the universe reaches back to me with guidance and resources and, yes….love. The more I am willing to confess my pain, the better I feel. It starts here, with me. I feel as if little by little by little I’m beginning to get it.

LIVE A BREAKOUT LIFE!

Your answers are inside you! Are you ready?

Could you use a partner to help you navigate through what’s happening in your life right now? Or maybe navigate from where you are to what you would LOVE to actually see happen?

I’m noticing that being a coach has a lot more to do with guiding you to your own insights than it has to do with advising; and I’ve learned some tools that can help you. The exciting thing is: You’ve got this! You just have to want it; and I can be there for you along the way.

Would you like to?

• Discover your own innate wisdom.

• Connect the dots and see the patterns that are guiding you.

• Experience partnership on your journey to create your vision.

Let’s talk! My intention is for these conversations to be fun, and for you to dive into some revelations of your own. I want you to leave a conversation with me feeling inspired and with a clear vision of what you want and where you want to go.

Sound interesting? I am currently offering FREE CLARITY SESSIONS through the month of February. Just type “yes” in the comments below or Private Message me and we’ll set up a time to talk.

I am beginning to see that what seemed to be a “falling apart” is becoming a dance of falling together, now. 

I see the possibility of the writing of a book. I see the possibility of having something to say that might be useful and valuable…something that would be worth sharing. I see the possibility of having conversations with people that are important to them…that show them a doorway into change and into seeing the direction of their deepest desires.

The thing, now, this year, is to fully step into the energy of that potential; to step into that excitement and explore. The thing now is to be willing to try new things and see what happens…to make mistakes…to reach out and ask.

Ask.

Ask for help. Be curious about how things work.

The thing now is to own my intention; which is to look at anything that seems to be holding me back and walk to the edge of it. The thing is to learn, and play, and to experiment. My intention is to hold a light up to my fears and move through them. My intention is to discover, one way or another, exactly how friendly the universe is when I give myself over to it instead of battling it.

What could happen then? If i give myself more and more to this fire in my belly right now, and just keep doing the work?

If I keep doing the work of writing “a word, after a word, after a word,” as Margaret Atwood puts it, and begin seeing the patterns; what could happen? As I delve into the various puzzle pieces of my own story that have felt confusing, or painful, or that have felt like moments of courage and triumph…or inspiration and see what fits together, what might I discover?

If, conversation by conversation, I learn to have conversations that inspire others and ease their way in the world…if I can show them their deep connection to their own answers and their own inner guidance…what could happen then? How might life become even more beautiful for people around me? How might that create an amazing vortex of joy?

I would love to hear about your dreams and intentions for the new year. I would love to hear what’s happening for you. Write and tell me on the form you’ll find under this post! It could be goals, your heart’s desire, a dream, something you are moving away from, something you are moving toward…what would you love to see happen for you?

Happy New Year to each and every one.

Hello Dear Readers! Wow! It’s been awhile again! I wanted to catch you all up on what I’ve been up to.

Firstly, I have been participating in an online course called The Writer’s Flow Workshop run by a wonderful woman by the name of Rhonda Douglas who wants to help writers move into their full power and to get their work “out there”. (Yay!!) Mostly, this course is about creating space for writing; both inner and outer space, emotional space as well as capturing the time. It’s about the importance of a writer’s creative life and how to make it work. This group is gearing up to create a plan for what we want to focus on in the next year.

A really nice quote I received through Rhonda Douglas comes from Margaret Atwood (writer of A Handmaid’s Tale):

 “A word after a word after a word is power.”

I have also signed up for and begun a course titled “Virtual Coach”, which is pretty much what it sounds like. This one is run by Eben Pagan and Eben is a genius at learning, specifically, paying attention to how he has learned and how people in general learn. He is definitely among the most curious people I know of. We do live 90-minute webinars on Tuesdays (usually) and full day webinars every other Saturday besides the coursework. 

Virtual Coach is about learning how to coach others; being a bridge or “midwife” to what someone really desires in their life. This is super exciting to me! 

One of the biggest things I’m learning is that in order to do something like this, I have to have my own “stuff” together, so to speak, so I am changing along the way, too. I can’t talk to someone about creating a morning routine that nourishes and energizes them if I’m not taking care of myself. I can’t talk to someone about having a difficult conversation if I’m not willing to do that. I have to be willing to “go first.” 

Another thing I’m learning is that each of us really does have our own answers, a coach is just there to facilitate the client in  coming to their own conclusions and their own insights. The process itself really does the work.

The “Virtual” part is that most of this work is done online, through Zoom or some other online method that brings coach and client face to face. I am feeling more courageous and getting my feet wet with practice sessions and conversations with friends and family, as well as reaching out to people who are in this course with me for practice sessions. With every step I am feeling as if what I am doing is becoming more real. It’s amazing. 

And the thing is, even if I weren’t to end up coaching I’m getting so much out of the course. I’m loving being connected to people in this way. 

So, that’s what I’m up to!! Happy Holidays: Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Blessed Solstice, Happy New Year and whatever else you’re celebrating!

Write and tell me what you’re up to! I’d love to know. And by the way, if you are interested in a free coaching session, I’d LOVE to practice with you!