I have learned to be present with my feelings. I have learned that they will not harm me.
I have learned, bit by bit to be present with my fear; to let it tell me exactly what it’s afraid of. To be curious. To listen closely. To listen with my heart and with my whole body. I have noticed that it actually feels beautiful to listen. It’s a meditation.
When you are feeling fear; notice your breath. What’s it doing? How are you breathing? It’s a feeling. What is the feeling saying to you? Are you in danger as you feel it? I ask this, because so often we are not. If you were, you would likely be running or fighting already, right? You wouldn’t have time to notice. If you are not…then notice. Just notice. Notice that you are actually safe at the moment. Notice that the feeling is survivable. And notice that the feeling is not the enemy. It has an agenda. It’s trying to protect something in you. The fear you are feeling is on your side, and once you hear what it wants, you can be less afraid. It yells louder when we try to ignore it.
It is the same with confusion, or anger, or sadness. They are calling your attention to someplace within you that needs gentleness or reassurance…someplace that needs your love.
Anger is a sign that perhaps a boundary has been crossed. Welcome it. Invite it in and ask it questions. Is there some area of my life where I have not been honoring myself, or saying “yes” when I meant to say “no”…or “no” when I meant “yes”? Is there some area of my life where I have been betraying myself or not listening to my intuition? Have I had expectations of something or someone? Expectations that are outside my control?
Your sadness, your grief, is an honoring of something that has meant a great deal to you. Your grief is a shape love takes. Let it in. Let it be a balm to your heart, for that is its intention. Its intention is to be with you, to sit with you right where you are. Let it hold you.
And if you are confused, allow yourself to be in the questions..to live in the questions for awhile. Allow yourself to be at the crossroads for a time…and let your heart keep silently asking what it wants to know, and watching patiently for answers. Give yourself permission not to rush.
This is the way with all the difficult emotions. To fight them, to argue with them, sends you further into the morass of your mind and further away from a healing connection with yourself. I have learned that my emotions are always showing me something. If I take the time to explore them, I find that they are useful, and somehow sweet. All of them.